Office Building Antics

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

I'm siting in my cube, its 37°F (2.8°C) outside and the building Air Conditioner is on full blast, my right hand is frozen and numb, and I've got 45 min of work left. :cry:

This made me think of a good pub topic, reminisce about some of the "interesting" office buildings (or things that happened there) you've had a CAD job at. I'll start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I work the late shift and a couple weeks ago I walked in on the cleaning lady and trash man making out (getting to second base) on the men’s bathroom sink counter. Not only was the situation uncomfortable me but that counter doesn't look all that comfortable either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last building I worked at was full on hit by lightning about 30’ from my head. I thought my cube had been point blank shot by a Howitzer, and me and my cube mates about back-flipped out of our chairs. Yes, I did pee a little. :oops:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My best worst honest to goodness story,
A coworker of mine had borrowed a video tape from an unstable acquaintance of his. Well my coworker apparently didn’t return the video tape quickly enough, to his mates chagrin. So the gentleman decided the best way to retrieve his truant video was, wait till my coworker was leaving the building for the day and hit him once in the face with the business end of a steel framing hammer.

What I learned on that day: "Return the *&(% video on *&$ time! You stupid &%#! with *(&#*^ up @#$ till ^%$#% YEARRRRRRR %*&$ little *&%!@ on the (*&^%!"
And that crazy people on crutches run fast. (you had to be there)
And you should take ALL your medication(s).

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

You know... :? I feel a little weird that no one else posted in this thread...

[architech]

here's one ....

A co-worker (John) walks into the men's room.
Another co-worker (Jim) is in the stall, sitting. :twisted:

so John goes to the sink and wets a WAD of toilet paper. Throws it up into the ceiling ... over the stall ....

runs out and shuts off the light as jim waits for the wad to land on his head before he has the chance to wipe and get out ....

:mrgreen:

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

Did Jim yell at you for that? :D

My old boss was (probably still is) well know through out the office as a germ-aphob. One of the other engineers pretty much despised my boss and had given his two week notice (quit). On one of his last days in the office he dropped trousers and pressed "cheeks" against germ-aphobias' monitor with an accomplice to take a picture. A few months latter the accomplice sent the picture to my boss.

[architech]

That's funny ... :mrgreen:

No really there was a John. It wasn't me.
What makes that story really funny is that John was a draftsman and Jim is a project architect. :P

Fortunatley for John, Jim has a good sense of humor.

Both Jim and John told me that story. :D

Jim later FARTS REAL LOUD in John's face ..... as he was drafting away in his cube. :!:

[architech]

.. I remember another story from the mail guy ....
Someone had sex in one of the private offices ... and left some white stains in the carpet. :shock:

Apparently the manger new what it was after some investigation. So he calls in the office manager to have someone clean it up. The office manager then calls the mail guy to look at it and clean it.

The mail guy automatically knows what it is ..... :D
So he suggests to call in a clean crew. The office nervous about the bill says .. no ... just use some soap and water ....
He then proceeds to kneel down and scratch & sniff the white crust ... :shock: ... the mail guy just stands there with a face ... :roll: ...
I guess the office manager figured out what it was when both the mail guy and manager had wierd faces on ... :twisted:

... in the end the cleaning crew was called in to sanitize the private office...
That guy, now, locks his office after he leaves at the end of the day ...

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

Okay, next time I'll finish eating my bagel before reading chat posts.

:lol: But that's still funny as hell. :lol:

[architech]

... yeah ... I figured you like that one .... :mrgreen:

I have plenty of office antic stories ....

Some are a bit lame ....

Like .. we used put "scotch" tape over the phone reciever of each others ... (architectural CADD designers/ architects) ...
So when the phone rang ... and you answered ... you could hear the person but they couldn't hear you. You'd keep yelling like fool at the top of your lungs just so they'd hear you ....

Later the person would figure out some place some "CLEAR" tape over the phone reciever.

Another would be ... We would call from another phone and leave a VOICEMAIL. The voiceamil would be either a BURP or FART or BOTH!
Really makes someone MORNING when they pick up that voice mail. :mrgreen:

another would taking the mouse ball out of someone's mouse .... and placing it on top of the monitor. The person wouldn't notice the ball until he or she tried to use it .....

Another dumb jole would to place tape underneath the mouse ball....

Or pull the mouse or keyboard chord out of the CPU tower by an 1/8" inch ... enough to look like it's connected but not enought to work ....


And there's others where you need the guy to log in .... AND leave his computer ....

Then you can send *** EMAILS ... like "I want your sex" to another guy in the office ....


Or reset all his settings to a left handed person ...

The list goes on and on ....

We eventually stopped .... too many sore losers ... :evil:

let me see if I can remember anymore for the office....
Altho .. i have some antics outside the office too .. but still realted to the office ....

[architech]

I hope you're not eating ... you've been warned ..... :twisted:

Here' another REAL funny story.

My company does "drug testing". *** go figure**** :shock: 8)

... it's random choice from a computer ....


Pretty much ...
You go to this clinic, sign in and wait for the nurse to call you.
She comes into the lounge and says "Come w/ me" .....
You go to a back room where the bathroom is ....
This bathroom is special .... it has a switch OUTSIDE which SHUTS off the water in the bathroom! :shock: :shock:

This means you can't flush or use the sink to wash your hands ....

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

OK ...

So this guy named Edison gets picked to go ...
(Turns out Edison was drinking heavy the night before ..... :mrgreen: )

.. So he drives over to the clinic to go PEE in the cup.

Edison ... half drunk goes to the back and takes the cup and PEEs ....
But the idiot ALSO needs to take a dump. 8)
So HE DOES ........ :mrgreen:
He then tries to flush but nothing happens.
He looks up at the door where he begins to read the message of NO WATER being available during DRUG TESTING.

He searches for toilet paper and something else to cover his brown pile but NO LUCK.
So he continues to sit, pondering what to do ....
The nurse knocks on the door wondering if everything is OK ....
He answers ... just a minute ... :oops: :shock: :cry:

10 mins later she's knocking hard to open the door.

He comes out with his head down and hands her the yellow cup.
And she walks in to check for cheating ....
.... she sees the gift he left behind ... and then give Edison the evil eye .....

Edison turns red and she hands him a toilet roll and says finish your business and LEAVE!

So he does and washes what he can and comes back to the office and tells the mail clerk who tells me ..... [" 2 F' ng FUNNY ] :mrgreen:

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```

You just can't make this stuff up ....

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

Ahhh, the tape on the mouse ball... One of my favorites.

I'm sure most of you got an email video of a chimpanzee baby peeing into its own mouth :shock: a couple of years ago.

At then end of the day I got that video, I sent it to one of the project engineers, and then ran down to his office to laugh at it with him.

Unfortunately for him, he had left for the evening, but his computer was still up and logged on. :wink:
As a little joke I opened up the email I sent him, and put the monkey pee video on continuous loop and FULL SCREEN, turned off his monitor and walked away giggling like a little girl. :D

The next morning I went to ask him if he "Got my email?" and he didn't have a clue what I was talking about. :? Just about then one of the other draftsmen walk in and ask, "Dude what the hell do you do with your computer all day?" Turns out the other draftsman and the IT guy needed something off of his computer that night, turned on his monitor and found my little monkey. :lol:

[Eddie]

:lol: Classic VCD.....I've done similar things to guys in our office...but I'm planning a pretty good joke for APRIL FOOLS day.....just have to get my arse into gear...for it...

will let you how it pans out when the time comes.

[mom of 3]

hey boys! those were some good laughs to start off my Fri morning! it's been a long week.........& I know I've been gone a while. been too darned busy!
well........I've done the tape on the phone deal, removing the mouse ball, voicemails, tape on the mouse deal..........I like it better on the intellimouse, LOL! I don't think I want to experience the private office one........they'd know it was me. I'm the only single one here........ :oops: mainly what has been done in offices I've worked at have been related to football games or basketball games, depending on how big into what sport the guys are into.

at one office, our boss was an Ohio State Buckeye.........the rest of us were Nebraska Cornhuskers, obviously. one time, the boys took "Buckie, the Buckeye", John's mascot, hung him from the ceiling with a noose way in the back corner of our office, then left a ransom note on John's desk. that took him about 3 days to find. one other time, "Buckie" had made his way into the ceiling (I'm still not sure why he went up there :wink: ) & left his feet hanging above John's desk, but the rest of him was squished in between those ceiling tiles. you all realize, I'm completely innocent of all of these, right? :twisted:
one other time, for someone's 30th birthday.....not mine.......we filled his entire cube with those styrofoam peanuts........I can't remember how we managed to keep them all in there, though. then, someone shoved more into his truck..........his kids' car seats were FULL!!!!!!!!
another time, one of the guys liked to look up that stuff on the internet that you men like to oggle at........lol.......so one of the other guys set his internet explorer up so that one of those sites was his homepage......he could NOT figure out what had happened!!!!!!!!!!
I miss those guys!!!!!!!!!

at this office........again, back to football, most of us are still Husker fans, but twitboss is an Iowa State Cyclone. soooooo.........while he was at a meeting the Fri morning before the ISU-NE game, we took his ISU flag & shoved it into the paper shredder.....took pics & sent them to our main office. before he left the meeting over at the other office, he'd gotten wind of what he was going to be coming back to.........he just laughed!!!!!!!! I will admit, though.......I was the instigator of that one. I also have to admit that he had more to laugh about on Mon when we came back, as ISU had beat NE.......... :roll:

ok, that's all I have right now........I'll try to think of more.

[csiarch]

Back in the "old" days when everyone in our office shared a one-line phone with extension phones, we'd wait until some hapless individual started to dial a number, quietly pick up our phone and press a randomely selected number. This added a number in the sequence, causing him to dial an incorrect number.

Most victims eventually caught on to what we were doing but one part-time student helper NEVER realized what was going on. He eventually went on to other jobs without ever figuring it out.

Another One: Our boss had the habit of getting a cup of coffee, drinking about half of it and then leaving the rest of it sitting when he got sidetracked with doing some real work. His coffee "mix" was always double cream and unmeasured amounts of sugar.

True to his habit, he left a half a cup of coffee on his desk when he left for vacation. After he had been gone about three or four days of the first week, some little spores of some kind decided that this rich misture was an ideal place to grow. In about 3 or 4 more days, there was this evil-looking greenish gray mound of material creeping up the side of the coffee cup, reaching for the stars.

About the end of the first week, our little growth had begun to run out of nutrients so it started shrinking back in to the cup and dying. Being the compassionate workers we were, we started mixing a porridge of cream-sugar-coffee, letting it cool (so it wouldn't harm our little growth) then gently pouring it down the inside of the cup. The growth sprang back to life and by the time the boss got back from vacation, this sucker had expanded to about 6 inches above the cup rim!

No one brought a camera to record the look on the boss' face when he came back to work but he NEVER left a half-full cup of coffee on his desk again! :lol:

[VERYCIVILDRAFTER]

My germaphobe boss had a lot of "odd" employees on his design team... Anyway we also had the office "Hot Head", he would become angry at the slightest provication and would yell nonsensical curse words at his monitor while thowing pens at this cube wall... He was a blast to work with :|

One day Hot Head couldn't get into a drawing because someone else was using it. He asked (one loud bark that everyone can hear) our team and no one had it open, and he gets a little upset...

So he looks on the computers of the team members not at their desk... they don't have it open either. He gets a little more upset, and starts grumbling about needing to use the drawing.

He asks each present team member individually if we have the drawing open while he's checking our computers… in his defense, half the time, some people didn’t know what was open on their computers. Saddly, no one on the team had it open, and obviously he’s getting more upset.

Well, Hot Head starts wandering around the office asking all +70 people if they are in his precious drawing… 15 minuets later he returns empty handed, red in the face, and throws himself into his chair and ranting about needing to use the drawing and why would anybody be in it.

At my prodding/shooing Hot Head tromps off to find IT guy (same IT guy from above) to ask if there is a way to identify who’s in the drawing. IT guy pretty much doesn’t care about his problem and tells Hot Head to go fly a kite. Hot Head storms back and starts really bitching up a storm. Pens were flying every where.

So now Hot Head jumps up (at least he’s a man of action) and heads off to check every single computer in the office. Finally he discovers who is in the drawing, but they seem to be in mid command and aren’t at their desk. He complains/crys/bitches to Germaphobe who has head most of this already and marches off (with Hot Head in tow) to close the drawing down himself.

Its one hour into all this and VeryCivilDrafter is in a full blown vindictive mood.
I see Hot Head at the other end of the office, marching back towards us with a big dumb grin on his face. I announce to the team “Hey guys! Want to see Hot Head implode?” I open up windows explorer and set his precious drawing's properties to read-only.

A few seconds later... BOOOM!!! :shock: I've never heard such foul language in a professional office.

It was so worth it. :lol:

[wardyboi]

I only wish I had stories like that, sadly even smiling in my small, shabby british office is frowned upon. Ah well, 'tis the climate I tells ya.