PHILOSOPHY

[architech]

Life in a Jar ;)

:mrgreen: When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar........and the beer.



A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.


So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.


The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."


The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.


"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions—things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else—the small stuff.


If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."


One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.
The professor smiled.
"I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers." ::Beer:: ::Beer:: ::Beer::

[architech]

8)
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut. :evil: :roll: :P :D

[YosSa]

fun fun fun fun arch, really great ... now i give it a try

On a sunny day there was a nice little wurm sitting in a nice tree ...

He was thinking: "mmm, when i eat a nice leave, my stumich is full again .."

BUT a bit higher in the tree there was a bird ....
He was thinking: "mmm, when the wurm eats the leaev and i eat the wurm .. my stumich is nice and full again ..."

BUT BUT a bit higher there was a nice ***** sitting in the tree ...
It was thinking: "mmm, when the wurm eats, the bird eats the wurm and i eat the bird, my stumich is nice and full ..."

So it happens .... the wurm eat the leeve ..... the bird eats the wurm and the nice ***** jumped to eat the bird, but the bird saw it coming and flew away ... the nice ***** missed and fell down in a little water what was near the tree.
Now, what the moral of this story ??









The more you want something, the more whet the ***** ...

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: 8)

[wardyboi]

... then they'll recognise this.

When interviewed for a place on a philosophy course at university, I should have said something like -
"Philosophy is the meaning of life."
and not
"Well, I'm having serious trouble trying to work out my own life and I'm now prepared to listen to other people's views"

[architech]

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lumped of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story is...
Bull**** might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[architech]

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word,
Bob says, "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have
on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars
and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to
the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was
Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says,
"did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time
with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

[architech]

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The
priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car,
he slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,
"Father, remember psalm 29?" The priest was flustered and apologized
profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable
to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 29?" Once again the
priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and looked up psalm 29. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you
will find glory."

Moral of the story:

Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great
opportunity!
:mrgreen:

[mom of 3]

all right, I don't know if this would really fall into this category, but this seemed the most logical place for it. enjoy!


:?:
A group of professional people posted this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds. "What does love mean?" the answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

See what you think...........


:idea: :idea: :idea:

When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
Rebecca - age 8
***********************
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.
Billy - age 4
***********************
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shavingCologneand they go out and smell each other.
Kari - age 5
***********************
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Chrissy - age 6
***********************
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Terri - age 4
***********************
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny - age 7
***********************
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Emily - age 8
***********************
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Bobby - age 7 (wow!)
***********************
If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Nikka - age 6
***********************
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
Noelle - age 7
***********************
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Tommy - age 6
***********************
During my piano recital, I was on stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
Cindy - age 8
***********************
My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Clare - age 6
***********************
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
Elaine - age 5
***********************
Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Chris - age 7
***********************
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Mary Ann - age 4
***********************
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Karen - age 7
***********************
Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn't think it's gross.
Mark - age 6
***********************
You really shouldn't say "I LOVE YOU" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Jessica - age 8
***********************
And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there.
When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."